Lucy’s Albatross

A meditation on the advent in the midst of uncertain times and a culture that constantly calls for fear.

Pitch black the island of darkness,
That which surrounds my heart.
Everywhere my eyes turn,
I am confronted with fresh fears.

Have you felt the ensnaring evil,
The cold grip of fear upon your heart?
Does your mind rebel against the violence in the world?
And your heart yearn for peace?
Have you wondered where the justice is?
Or been driven to despair?

The world seems ever darker.
Each days newscast rings out like an alarm bell.
Another war here, another murder there.
Fresh violence today, no answers tomorrow.

Where are you Prince of Peace?
Where is the peace on earth and goodwill toward mankind?
When will oppression cease,
And joy reign in our hearts?
What hope has truth in the midst of lies,
Or love in a world filled with hate?

So I stand and cry out to You.
The one who penetrated this darkness in human form.
I bear my heart full of fears and doubts,
Then like a whisper come the words:

“Courage dear heart!” 

The Mustard Seed and the Candle

My poems often reflect my prayers and meditations, whereas other posts reflect my thoughts. I’m working on laying out some very important thoughts, but I’ve spent a lot of my time in prayerful meditation as of late.

This poem is for all my friends struggling with their doubts and unbelief, let us pray together “Lord I believe, help my unbelief”

There are times when the darkness closes in like a prison,
And unanswered questions rain down like a deluge,
The storm soaks to the skin,
And the heart floods with doubt in dismay.
Is He real?
Does He care about me?
Am I forgotten?
Where is His strong right arm?

In this dark and doubt,
The light becomes unclear,
Answers become questions,
Beliefs are turned to doubt,
The turmoil reaches fever pitch,
And crisis grips the heart?
Is there something wrong with me?
Why does my heart entertain such fears?
Perhaps I need simply to believe harder?
Or maybe I never believed at all?
Am I a son, or do I yet remain a slave?
Is my heart truly renewed?

These questions are not yours to answer,
Anymore than faith stems from yourself,
But there is one who answers such questions,
If you have only enough faith to ask

Yours is the way of the candle,
Light a small wavering flame in the dark,
And wait in quiet expectation,
For the blinding light of breaking day.

And yours is the way of the mustard seed,
A tiny grain of faith,
But cling with diligence to it,
And the roar from the throne above will move mountains of unbelief.

Thomas needed to see the scars,
Gideon had a fleece,
Moses was reaffirmed twice by signs and doubted still,
Yet The Lord did not lose patience,
And Thomas touched the scars,
Gideon’s fleece proved true,
The God of signs and wonders,
Will prove Himself to you.

Bring your questions before the throne with boldness,
Lay open your heart before Your King,
If it was your own faith that saved,
You would be dead in unbelief,
But our Lord is not unable to make His servants stand,
He strengthens the weak knees and steadies trembling hands,
His final answer was a man called Jesus,
Who could be seen and touched,
Ask Him what you will,
And His answers will be just as real.

If you know the Almighty is real,
And that Jesus is alive,
Why hesitate to ask Him to reveal Himself?
Do you fear that He would do it?

Take the Gap

When the dark tide seems ever rising,
And evil closes in,
When the orphan goes hungry,
And the fatherless is killed before she’s born,
When the earth is being destroyed before us,
The mountains hacked down and streams corrupted,
When the soil fails,
And we turn to chemicals for food,
When the just ones pollute themselves with the blood of the innocent,
And celebrate endless war,
When the nation turns away from her God,
And faces instead His fiery wrath,
Then will I pray:

This day by Thine grace and power,
I place myself between the oppressed and the oppressor,
Upheld by the three who are one,
I will stand between the helpless and the darkness,
When the gap stands gaping open and the destroyers come pouring through,
I will place myself in the gap,
And by Your Hand overcome,
You are able to make your servants stand,
Therefore I will not be polluted with innocent blood,
You will have your glory,
Therefore I will shine out as a light in the midst of the darkness,
Some will see no evil,
Some will hear no evil,
Some will even speak no evil,
But by the Power that flung the stars in space,
I will allow no evil,
If you aren’t a part of His solution,
You are probably a part of the problem.

Lady liberty bleeds out,
Slowly wounded and abused rather than attacked right out,
Yet the nation prides itself on freedom,
And doesn’t realize it’s in chains,
Chains slowly forged by giving liberty away,
The rich oppress the poor,
The poor rob those who might help them,
All this we’ve made lawful,
And in so doing become lawless,
There is wickedness in high places,
Yet the nation still places its hope in rulers,
Instead of in the the One who rules all, is all, made all,
The blood of the unborn cries out for justice,
The earth moans under the weight of our abuse,
The very food we eat speaks against us,
In such times I will pray,

Today, through your love and blood,
Shield me from the guilt of sin,
Teach me to walk guiltless before you,
Then I will take my stand,
Unashamed before you,
I will, by your power, place myself,
Between the innocent and the wicked,
To be a force for you upon the earth,
To hold back the tide of wickedness from your remnant,
When the courage of men falters,
I will rise in your might,
For the battle belongs to The Lord.

Patrick’s Rune

From A Swiftly Tilting Planet By Madeleine L’Engle

At Tara in this fateful hour

I place all Heaven with its power

And the sun with its brightness,

And the snow with its whiteness,

And the fire with all the strength it hath,

And the lightning with its rapid wrath,

And the winds with their swiftness along their path,

And the sea with its deepness,

And the rocks with their steepness,

And the earth with its starkness:

All these I place

By God’s almighty help and grace

Between myself and the powers of darkness!

Other than his general connection with all things Irish, most people don’t know too much about St. Patrick. Interestingly, despite being a “Saint” Patrick was not connected with the Roman Catholic church but rather with the preexisting Celtic church in England. He was taken captive by Irish raiders as a child, eventually escaped back to England, and then after coming to a vibrant faith in Jesus Christ returned back to England to reach out to the very people who had taken him captive. I should also note that St. Patrick is one of the tonedeafbard’s very favorite examples of the Christian bard!

For an interesting fictional read on the conversion of Patrick, as well as some though provoking concepts regarding mission contextualization see

Patrick: Son of Ireland by Stephen R Lawhead

May we all be inspired by the incredible example of love and passion put for by St. Patrick this St. Patrick’s day!

Becoming

The fires of adversity burn hotly ‘round about me,
And walls appear faster than they can be torn down,
The mountains seems steeper with each step,
And the path grows longer each time I look,
Here I am trying to walk your way,
Answering your call,
And acting in the vision you have given me,
And yet I can go nowhere,
I am weighted down with troubles,
And sorrows continue to accumulate,
Where are You now?
You who do not abandon or forsake,
For my troubles are many,
 And I feel overwhelmed with agony.

Do you not see where you are child?
These are refining fires,
And in weakness you grow strong,
You stand now in the process of becoming,
Where vision and calling meet with acting and being,
Was Abram always Abraham,
Or Simon always Peter,
The journey towards who you will be,
Is very difficult for who you are,
But all things are possible with me,
And I am always with you in all things.

I will set my hands to the task ahead,
And sing your praises in the trial,
For You do not forsake Your children,
Nor abandon those who call your name,
You are a rewarder of those who diligently seek you,
And you give grace to those who remain humble before you,
My calling and ministry are mine only because you gave them,
And only you can grant success,
For unless the Lord build the house,
Its laborers work in vain,
But you have laid the plans and foundation,
And now I will work to see this thing to completion.

In all you set your hand to my child,
I will grant you success,
For you have given your whole heart to that which I appointed you,
Jacob was not always Israel,
And Saul was not always Paul,
So now you are becoming,
What I created you to be,
Your growth will be in Me,
And without Me you cannot succeed,
I will have all the glory,
And no man will be able to boast making you who you are,
Labor in the becoming,
Until at last you are complete,
For I am not a Master who is unable to make His servants stand

Light Never Trembles Before the Darkness

Each day seems darker than the one before,
The weight of sin is crushing in,
And the earth is moving into times of turmoil,
Nations rise and nations fall,
But the church is an eternal kingdom,
Banners spread high and message unstoppable,
Cause light doesn’t tremble before the darkness,
And truth won’t falter out of fear,
When the times grow dark,
God’s Chosen ones illuminate the land

It always seems like it’d be easier,
In another time and place,
But for dangerous times like these,
God always has appointed persons.
Men and women of hope and power,
Who set things right again.
The end isn’t here just yet,
This will bring a wave of restoration.
A righteous rebellion is under way,
Warriors are rising to turn the tide

Turn your eyes from the darkness,
Look and see the harvest before you,
Our duty is to bring them in,
There our focus must lie
Light never trembles before the darkness,
Men of God ought not be distracted by the times
You have much to do
And little time
Now get out your sword,
And stand in the gap for this generation.

Light never trembles before the darkness,
If you are people of the light,
Raise your heads and do not fear,
The tide was turning before the battle began.

Super Human

I’m no superman,
How frequently I fail,
In fact I’m super human,
Held back by seemingly super failings,
And a frequent inability to accomplish the task at hand,
I have so many responsibilities,
Resting on my shoulders,
Other lives depend on mine,
And the eyes that watch and voices that repeat my words,
Fill my heart with fright!
What can I do?
What if I give all and come up wanting?
What if the best I have,
Proves to simply be not enough?
I frequently fail in small things,
What if I fail in large things?

Then I hear your voice,
Child, you never had to be adequate on your own,
I have been adequate for you,
You were unable to redeem yourself,
So I took on flesh,
And paid the ultimate price to bring you back,
I am the only one Sovereign in the universe,
I alone never fail,
But I am upholding you by my right hand,
To prosper the work of your small, childlike hands,
Give me all that you have,
Put all of yourself into the life I’ve given you,
And I will supply the lack,
My grace will make up the difference,
As for you trust Me.

As I struggle through each day,
And pour my whole heart out,
I work harder and harder,
But my heart slowly gives out,
What am I really doing worth living for?
You’ve given me a call and a purpose,
But it feels so far away,
Like a future I’ll never reach,
The world is full of tragedy,
Crisis strikes nearly everyday,
Billions of people are hurting,
Each day countless number perish without you,
So much evil continues to progress,
And what can I do to hold it back?
I know you’ve called me to serve you,
To join your mission to redeem,
But I feel so powerless in a world spiraling out of control.

Your voice calls out yet again,
Who put you where you are child?
Did not I?
The balance is precarious in each and every life,
The smallest of kind words,
The most insignificant contribution,
In my hands can become,
A source of life for generations,
See the seed planted in the ground,
How for many days it appears lifeless and dead,
And then suddenly it springs forth,
And eventually brings forth food,
So is each and every action,
If committed to my plan,
You are on the path of becoming,
And I will use every action along the way,
For the redemption of My creation,
And the glory of My name.

The Blood of Christ and the Blood of Abel

A Reflection on Hebrews 12:24

The blood runs down my hands,
And it trickles to the ground,
My heart sinks deep into a chasm of despair,
At the though of what I’ve done,
And then done again
It’s been a losing battle for me,
I would restrain myself,
But I am unable,
I lack the strength to resist alone,
And so again I act in my weakness,
And blood is shed in sin,
I begin to weep,
But the real nightmare has only just begun,
Because as though my own guilt did not condemn me enough,
The blood cries out from the ground,
It calls day and night for vengeance,
To the God of heaven who I know is Just and will surely answer
The sound of judgment rings in my ears again and again,
And I know that the wrath is coming,
I am fully condemned,
I cannot deny the blood shed
Here am I damned and doomed in my sin.

But thanks be to God there is other blood,
Sprinkled upon me,
My Great High Priest,
The one called Savior,
The one who is ever with me,
Who loves me beyond all measure,
Christ Jesus!
His Blood now runs over me.
It washes me with it cleansing power,
And it speaks a better word,
Than the judgmental word spoken by the blood of Abel
It cries out day and night before the throne of God most high,
It demands forgiveness and mercy
It satisfies the wrath of God,
And sprinkled with it I now boldly come,
Before the throne of grace,
And God speaks to me face to face.
All that I have ever been is gone,
All that I have ever done is forgiven,
All I am is swept up in the matchless glory of Christ,
Because the blood of Christ speaks a better word.

Sojourn

There you go walking straight into the wall,
Once more struggling against the flow,
In busy over crowded streets,
I can see it in your eyes,
The loneliness of your direction,
Your sweat is coming harder now,
As you struggle to keep your feet moving,
Your hands are trembling,
And your heart is giving out,
But shore up your faith and don’t give out

You were never from this place,
You don’t really belong here,
The Kingdom above is calling,
Now keep your feet till you find your way back home,
Hold you ground and press ahead,
Fight the good fight,
Don’t be so down when you don’t fit in,
Neither did He and you are His,
Don’t be amazed that the going is hard,
You aren’t of this world,
Why should you expect it to offer you comfort?

You may be lonely friend,
Wandering the narrow, winding path,
But look at the road before you,
Can’t you see how well worn it is,
The Road of the Cross may often be lonely,
But so many have gone before you,
And so many will come behind,
Listen to the whisper in your ear,
And walk in the way you know you must go

Fight the fight,
Keep the Faith,
Raze the works of Hell to the ground,
Ride home into the Kingdom,
A victorious prince who has done his Father’s will,
And invested in his Father’s business,
Don’t come running in screaming,
With your tail between your legs,
Having spent you whole life,
Only longing for Heaven and escape from hardship,
You journey with a purpose,
The kingdom grows with each well-placed footstep,

The footsteps of the cross grow harder,
But He will not let your strength fail,
If you keep your eyes fixed upon Him,
Your victory is already won,
You need only to walk it out,
Continue your journey of faith my friend,
Knowing in confidence,
That the one who began this work will finish,
We may have trouble in this world,
But He has overcome the world.

Almost Love

Why is it that I want to do the right thing,
Yet seem always drawn to do the wrong?
Why is it I know to say words that will heal,
But curses always come off my tongue?
I know how to do the things that are loving,
Yet I find myself consumed with selfish blackness,
And self-righteous judgment,
Here I am in the place of almost love,
I can almost work to heal your broken heart,
And almost say the words you long to hear,
I can almost trade my life for yours,
And shed my blood to show you the love,
That you so desperately need to see,
But almost is never actually real,
And halfway still isn’t there,
In the end my good intentions don’t matter at all,
You need true love,
But all I have to offer is almost.

Abba take me to the fountain,
Where love drips down,
From the bloody man on the cross,
Where love to the uttermost burst forth,
Into this sad planet of almost love,
Wash away my selfishness with that bloody love,
Teach me the way of sacrifice,
Jesus teach me how to love!

The church stands before the world,
And tries to hold out the hope,
For a new way filled with life,
But it seems like for all our efforts,
All of our good ideas,
Our well planned training,
Our organizations and small groups and out reaches,
Something lacks among us,
Why are we so quick to attack and devour each other?
Why can we not maintain the purity of the word,
Must we always twist it to our own gain?
Will we always seek to be more righteous than one another?
As if our righteousness even counted for something?
We are filled with almost love,
Almost reaching out to heal and save,
Almost interceding for the hopeless and defenseless,
Almost laying down our lives for something bigger,
But almost doesn’t really count for anything,
Because almost still never happened,
Halfway still isn’t there,
The world needs true love,
But all we offer is almost love.

Abba take us to the fountain,
Where love drips down,
From the bloody man on the cross,
Where love to the uttermost burst forth,
Into this sad church of almost love,
Wash away our selfishness and pride with that bloody love,
Teach us the way of sacrifice,
Jesus teach us how to love!

In the end only one stands,
With true love in His hands,
Jesus alone is the healer,
He alone can save and offer truest love,
From His hands on Calvary,
Dripped the only sacrificial love,
That history will ever know,
We may never fully overcome,
Our selfishness and almost love,
But Christ our King proved once for all,
That His love was enough!
We have nothing to offer but almost love,
But if His blood fills up our veins,
Then we will have the healing love of His,
Which alone can transform the nations!

Abba take us to the fountain,
Where love drips down,
From the bloody man on the cross,
Where love to the uttermost burst forth,
Into this sad church of almost love,
Wash away our selfishness and pride with that bloody love,
Teach us the way of sacrifice,
Jesus teach us how to love!