Having wrapped up my Permaculture Design Course, it is time to begin writing again. I have missed being able to share my thoughts and feelings in this way. The last few months have been hard, and today’s poem captures the thoughts and emotions I am wrestling with right now. The last phrase is of deep significance to me personally, it is credited to 2 of the first Moravian missionaries. They are said to have shouted it back to shore as they sailed out intent on literally selling themselves into slavery for the sake of the unreached. May we all have such courage and faith, and when we struggle to do so may we drive one another forward.
See The Morning
The road ahead is rough and rising,
The road behind long and painful,
The road ahead is choked with thorns,
The road behind is slick with my sweat and blood,
Moving forward is painful,
I am stiff and struggle to force one foot before the next,
My muscles strain from the trial,
And sweat drips down like rain,
Each step forward I am buffeted,
Forced to my knees but not pushed back,
I set my face into the wind,
And rise to continue my journey,
The pain it begs the questions,
And the wind whispers subtle lies,
In the face of pain and heartache,
The lies pour out with smooth rhythms,
Is faith worth so high a price?
Can you continue to walk, who cannot stand?
If He cannot or will not provide, do you trust that He will save?
You are weak and weary, lie down and do not attempt again to rise.
You are alone in this struggle, therefore give it up and walk away.
There is no victory for you here.
In the swirling flows of fears and doubts,
Despair takes a deep root within my heart,
I have no answer to the charges,
For I am certainly weak and near to fainting
Yet I will walk on this night,
Even under the utter blackness of despair,
I will fall and rise, fall and rise again
If for no other reason than to see the morning
Darkness lasts not forever,
Even when our light is weak,
The light has come into the world,
And the darkness cannot overcome or understand
Feelings lie and deceive,
Emotions fail in the time of greatest need,
Yet he whose faith is properly placed,
Will have a foundation made of stone.
I will recount Thine deeds of old,
And pile stone upon stone in memorial,
Raising high an Ebenezer,
Recounting each tender mercy and strong deliverance,
Lord I believe, but help my unbelief,
In dark of doubt and pain of despair,
Whether visible or not, you are there
So I will trust to see the morning in Thee
Those that overcome follow the Lamb wherever He goes,
Yet the overcoming does not come easy,
The price is often high, higher than I have yet paid,
But the highest price is already paid,
And sin and death defeated once for all,
Therefore no price I pay is any price at all
The Lamb of God will receive the reward of His suffering!